August 14, 2009
Crittenton Resident Is College-Bound
Above: With shopping carts full of supplies for a Crittenton client (front, with back to the camera) who is bound for college are (left to right) Target ETL HR Teresa Hudrlik, Crittenton Services Direct Services Worker Kathy Riggle, Crittenton Services Volunteer and Special Events Coordinator Judi Henrickson, and Target ETL LOG Sonya Beil.
When she came to Crittenton Services six months ago, she was in the custody of the Department of Health and Human Services with a probation violation, a history of truancy and a battery charge against her. She was angry, felt hopeless, hated school and had a baby for whom she could not care. Today, she is gracious, hopeful and bound for college. She wants to be a good student, a good mother and a healthy, happy and productive citizen.
This 17-year old girl (let’s call her “Haley”) suffered from severe family challenges. Her mother is alcoholic and “spends a lot of time in jail,” she said. She can’t get along with her father and he seems disinterested in her, so before she came to Crittenton, she got into a lot of trouble. “There was no one at home to tell me to go to school, and my friends didn’t go, so I didn’t either,” she said. “I was mean, too. I was always ready to fight.” When she ended up pregnant at 15, it just compounded her challenges.
Upon arriving at Crittenton in February, she still had a chip on her shoulder. “I was used to adults telling me what to do, then ignoring me,” she said. “I figured this was going to be more of the same.” But it wasn’t.
For the first time in her life, she had constant supervision and even more importantly, she was given direction. “They (the Crittenton staff members) were tough and didn’t put up with fighting – but instead of just punishing me and telling me to shut up, they talked to me, listened
to me and we began to sort out why I felt so mad all the time.” Tears welled in her eyes as she recounted those early days at Crittenton. “No one ever wanted to listen to me before.”
Haley’s daily routine included attending classes at Crittenton’s on-site alternative school, individual and group therapy, and learning life skills. Even though in Haley’s case, she did not have custody of her child, she also learned how to be a responsible mother.
Like all of the girls in Crittenton’s residential program, Haley went through the gender-specific treatment program known as Butterfly Becoming. The program moves clients through a series of four stages of development, from Beginnings, through Reflections and Awakenings to Transformation. For Haley, it was a painful process that she resisted at first. “On my first home visit – after about a month at Crittenton – people told me I hadn’t changed a bit.”
But change did come as she learned to allow it. “I don’t know exactly when it happened,” she said, “but after I was here a little while, maybe in the Reflections stage, I began to change my attitude. I saw that I really could make good choices in my life. I didn’t have to make the same mistakes my parents made.”
While embracing her therapy, she buckled down in the classroom, graduating from high school in May. In fact, even though she completed the Crittenton program shortly after earning her diploma, she elected to stay in the state’s custody so that she could attend college this fall. “I am the first one in my family to actually graduate from high school, let alone go to college,” she noted with pride.
Haley plans to work while she earns her bachelor’s degree and then go on to graduate school so that she can become a veterinarian. “I grew up on and around farms,” she explained. “I
love animals and I’d love to make that my life’s work.”
But her real passion is her child. “I’m not going to college for myself,” she said. “I’m doing it for my son.” He is 20 months old now and in the custody of his father, but Haley sees him often and will be close enough to him while she is in college to be an integral part of his life. “He doesn’t know it yet, but he saved my life, and I’m going to give him the best life I can in return.”
Since Haley will be on her own, with no parental support and living in a dorm, she needed to be prepared with the simple necessities of dormitory life. She had already participated in a program in which she learned to build a laptop computer, and she will take that along with her. But she still needed basic items such as towels, sheets, school supplies, laundry necessities, alarm clock, compact refrigerator and more. With the support of the generous gifts from donors to Crittenton Services, including the volunteer Junior Board, the agency took her to Target to buy the items she needed. Target helped by donating a $50 gift certificate, to defray some of the costs. “We are happy to help these young people at Crittenton,” said Target’s Teresa Hudrlik. “They work hard to overcome huge challenges, and if we can make it a little easier for them, we’re just pleased to have the opportunity to reward hard work and to be good corporate citizens.”
Crittenton Services’ residential program has been transforming the lives of young women for 114 years in Wheeling, and today accepts adolescent girls between the ages of 12 and 17 who may or may not be pregnant or parenting. Haley hopes that her story will be an inspiration to other girls going through the program. “I’d tell any girl coming in to Crittenton to believe in the
possibilities in themselves,” she said. “Don’t let anyone get to you. Think about what you want,
and stick to the goal. If anyone crosses you, let it go. Their attitude is their problem, not yours. Kill them with kindness.”
She says that while she is eager to begin college, leaving her home of the past half year will not be easy. “Crittenton is a really great place. The people there taught me much more than school lessons; they helped me learn how to live with myself, how to take care of others and the value of forgiveness.”
END
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Contact: Butch Maxwell
(304) 242-7060, ext. 133